It

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It feels like drowning,
but the verge of it.
When you sink
into your bathtub
and the water
touches your lashes.
You can breathe,
and you are, heavily,
but one slip
and you’re under.
It feels like chaos.
Your mind can’t focus,
it’s always darting
from one fire to another –
until your whole head
spins with flames.
It feels like a car,
spinning on a highway
at 3 in the morning
with no witnesses.
It feels like a back
breaking under the hand
of an unsuspecting strike
from a friend
looking you in the eyes.
It feels like every pain
you’ve ever had
coming back
all at once.
It feels like everything,
and then
it feels like nothing.

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