How am I to carry the weight of all these questions within my soul, and still go about calmly, as if the earth did not seem a great void of endless mystery? However, this mystery isn’t a particular kind of one, easily solved by a few hours of careful consideration and paperwork. No, this mystery goes beyond my own sight, and it is I in the midst of it all. This whole question involves God, family, love, theology, Christianity, religion, relationships, sin, millennials, technology, the internet, writing, beliefs, and everything else in life. I was recently told I was a “deep thinker” and that is why I struggle so much with what others around me seem to accept blindly. (Or, I should say, it appears blindly through my skeptic sight), but I believe I struggle because not only am I a deep thinker, but I am also an endless feeler. If I think about hell, the devil, sin, I feel all of those things. It can be unbearable at times. How does one study theology and not live in a constant state of fear? There surely is very little we can actually prove we are right on, am I do dedicate my life to that? Yes, I suppose I have already made my decision to believe in the God of the Bible, but I suppose now, but fear is, does God believe in me?